Saturday, January 30, 2010
FINALLY FREE!!
yeehaw ~~~
I'm out of camp =)
free from the bonds of reservist training
well, at least for another year
it has been a tiring 2.5 wks
waking up early
training under the hot sun
doing very physical stuff
I went in with a heavy heart
was so unwilling to leave the civilian world behind
thinking of somebody
worried about my studies
yet I'm feeling thankful right now
cause the tough training woke me up
gave me a big jolt
made me think
and realise just how silly I had been
some issues just have no solution
time will change things
a few months down the road
for better
or for worse
no one knows definitely
so no point worrying over things that you can't control
and no one wants to go out with an emo boy rite ;-)
for now
most impt
is to get ready for exams
the rest
just leave things to fate bah
maybe it's better this way
so he said @
11:48 AM
Monday, January 25, 2010
TRYING HARD NOT TO DO ANYTHING IS VERY HARD
back to camp in a few hours time
back to the hellhole
for round 2
haix
endure!!
as I was watching the movie this afternoon
I had a sudden pang of longing-ness
it just hit me
wanted to call her so much at that moment
even if it was just to hear her voice
even if it was just to say a hello
I know
she's going through a rough patch
and the best thing I can do is keep away
don't give her more trouble
even though I so wish to be her shoulder to lean on
she'll prob never see this
but I'm gonna pen it down anyway
if you so happen to come across this blog and see this msg
and you want someone to talk to
to listen to you
please sms me
or even call me
I'll be more than willing to be your listening ear
naive silly boy =(
so he said @
4:18 AM
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
emo momo
yea awake now
just suddenly woke from my sleep
and looked around my room
such a pretty sight
feeling emo abt going back to camp
back to all the sian-ness
counting down to the last day sia
pls hurry hurry finish everything
let me back into the civilian world where I can get things done
wth!
seeing her in the canteen today
I stole a glance at her
really wanted to look at her
and say hi
but couldn't
and didn't
deep down
I know she means so much to me
yet I can't get into her world
have her attention
that is the hurting part
give me a chance
give me some space to communicate
I need some luck
=)
so he said @
5:01 AM
Sunday, January 17, 2010
things have become so different
going for supper is different le
it's so hard to even see eye to eye
the cold look on arrival
the nonchalant attitude
looking through me as though I don't exist
it hurts so much
I don't even bother asking if you wanna take my car
I know
you'll take the van definitely
at dessert
sitting next to each other
the crossed arms
the raised arms to block out my view
why the coldness
why the alienation
can't I even get a chance to talk to you
must you treat me this way?
can you feel my pain?
I've already backed off
no longer getting in your way
just some warmth in attitude
some concern
is that too much to ask for
am I that worthless in your eyes
not even worth a minute to talk to
I'm keeping the faith
can only hope that you will treat me better
look at me with a smile on your face
laugh at my comments
and in my wildest dreams
sit next to me and talk about everything
like the magical moments we had at the barrage......
I can only hope and pray =((
so he said @
7:19 AM
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Have Faith
long time since I've touched this blog
people like to say old habits die hard
when I'm sad
I like to write my feelings down
and now is the moment
in another day
I'll be going for reservist training
quite an apt timing
considering that the civilian world has brought me much misery lately
maybe leaving it behind temporarily will help alleviate my feelings
when u thought u've found the right one
u'll give your all
or so that was what i thought
maybe its wrong timing
maybe its not meant to be
it hurts bad
real bad that i'm crying out for help
but no one really cares
or asked
except HER
yup HER
the one I really need in my life
words cant describe my anguish
i think the right gal is near
yet far
ironic indeed
to the greater beings in the sky
pls help
let me be able to love
hope for the best
prepare for the worst
only thing I can do
yup
so he said @
3:58 AM
