Sunday, February 28, 2010
Sorrow
these few days have been spend on trips to the hospital
grandma has been admitted
and this time her condition looks gloomy
seeing her lying there
breathing with the aid of an oxygen mask
unable to move or speak
limbs swollen because of water retention
I am utterly saddened
and feeling helpless
to be very frank
there is nothing much we can do
other than make her feel as comfortable as possible
smack in the middle of my prelims
totally moodless to go for papers
my grandma is definitely more important
I know this sounds terrible
hard to accept
but the reality is
they can't operate on her because of her weak heart and old age
doctor has asked us to prepare for the worst
she might not make it pass the weekend
and if she pulls through
she has about 2-3 months
due to the cancerous cyst in her stomach
just now
while driving my aunt to the temple to pray
she was talking to a hk relative on the phone
and as she spoke about my grandma's condition
she started crying
my eyes welled up with tears
and I cried too
I can so feel her sorrow
suddenly, she is going to lose her mum that she has stayed with for her whole life
she was talking about how she wanted my grandma to go home
even if she has 2 months left
so she could see the new fridge she had just bought
but that if my grandma felt that she was suffering, she can 'go off' with no worries
but if she can fight and hang on my aunt will bring her home to see the fridge
and live off her remaining days
hearing all that just utterly broke my heart
till now
I'm still awake
worried of what I might face when I go to the hospital later in the day
the gloom of impending doom
life and death matters have never been very easy things to deal with
some things are just beyond our control
I just pray that grandma pulls through this round
whatever comes later is another issue
1 hurdle after another
I need a shoulder to lean on
I need someone to talk to
if only 'you' will call
=(
so he said @
5:21 AM
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Just wanna hear your voice, see your smile
here I am again
with a random blog post
writing just cheers me up so much
even though nobody reads my blog
Gong Xi Fa Cai Huat Ar!!
CNY has just breezed by
after much feasting and gambling
it's back to harsh reality T_T
boy are the prelims heading my way
seriously lacking the motivation to study hard
no sense of urgency
think the prelims will be a nasty wake up call
so will try to do my best
2 days more to 1st paper...gosh!
I CONFESS!!
wanna shout it out loud
I'm missing somebody!!
the force is strong
LOL =x
can only think nia
thinking not a crime rite?!
have an urge to call her...just to hear her voice...ask her how she is
but I have this feeling we'll just end up with an awkward silence after a few words (if she picks up in the 1st place)
MSN will be single word replies
SMS wun be replied
short of going to her place (you think your house ar!!)
erm pigeons??
letters through snail mail might be a viable solution
but really, is there a need to O.o
argh argh
life's pretty hard when exchanging more than 5 words at a gathering is considered a monumental achievement
BUT...
hold your horses
Roy's spider senses is tingling
the big iceberg will melt...bit by bit...slowly
endure pls...even if it is a little change in attitude
I'll take it =)
hoping
waiting
missing
life goes on
so he said @
6:37 PM
Friday, February 19, 2010
when you're feeling lousy and you know it come and blog
I just decided to log onto FB
via the phone
I really shouldn't have
and the heart sank a little
no matter how much I told myself not to think
I admit
I was bothered
I dunno
Disappointment I guess
not a msg
not an invitation
I think it's just reality
Forgotten is the word
and I'm still hoping it's an honest mistake
hahahahahhaah
pls lah
what to do nvm lor =(
sad is not a good state of mind to be in
so he said @
3:26 AM
Monday, February 15, 2010
Gong Xi Fa Cai
first day of the chinese new year
was spent collecting angbaos, eating and more eating
wanted to go to 'somebody's' house
but had to go airport pick up a relative at night
so couldn't go in the end
I'm sorry I couldn't go
I really am
tonight can leh but will you jio again?
hope so bah ^^
so he said @
3:00 AM
Sunday, February 14, 2010
I HEART U
Yea it's officially the year of the tiger and vday all rolled into 1
and...
first thing I do is to give flowers to somebody
I have been hesitating actually
but aiya just give lah
and I was pleasantly surprised
just glad I've made the effort
though it may not signify anything
but it means a lot to me
and THAT'S the most impt thing
yay!!
alright angbaos galore later *I hope*
woohoo =)
so he said @
4:28 AM
Saturday, February 06, 2010
Remember the 5 simple rules to be happy.
1. Free your heart from hatred - forgive.
2. Free your mind from worries - most never happen.
3. Live simply and appreciate what you have.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.
so he said @
2:55 PM
当一个人发现前面是一条绝路
如果不向前冲一步
便会非死不可
置之死地而后生
inspired by a show
so true
so damn true
so he said @
1:18 PM
